True to my Eyes
by Cloudstar36
Summary: Sequel to 'Mystery Sickle-Cell'. A week after Donatello's death and the Turtles are still not coping with him being truly gone. They find consequences bring change as they begin acting different to one another; Raphael especially - who tries his best to be more concerned and protective of his brothers, but when he sees something he thought didn't exist, he completely loses it...
1. But I thought

**Kay guys… It's me again; Cloudstar36.  
So I just randomly got this idea one morning, to write a one-shot continuing from 'Mystery Sickle-Cell', and yeah, this was it. If you guys want me to write more, just say so in the reviews and, I'll do it :)  
So, enjoy 'True to my eyes'…**

* * *

A week and they still mourn. Hearts torn and motivation low, the Turtles didn't feel up to anything. They'd been through a few battles during the week, but none felt the same without Donatello…  
Leonardo sat in the lounge of the lair; his head resting on his knees as he let his eyes wander the room in thought. He knew this was all real, it was no dream.  
**No… this is a nightmare… **the blue-ninja corrected himself, inhaling softly and getting up. Time for another patrol…

"Mikey! Raph! D-…" Leonardo paused and gulped back his words. "Wait, w-wait… Donnie's not here… F-Forget that…"

Michelangelo wandered over to him from the kitchen; the orange-ninja looking, slightly excited to go out on their patrol.

"Patrol again?" he inquired.

"Yeah… Where's Raph?"

"In his room…"

Leonardo sighed softly and headed in the direction of their bedrooms; passing his own before he peered through the doorway of Raphael's. The red-ninja lay on his side; back facing his older brother, staring at the wall. He didn't look like he was going to get up in a while…

"Raph, we're heading out on patrol if you're wondering…" the blue-ninja explained, leaning against the doorframe. "… Sensei's gonna worry if we don't get out…"

"Like he did with Donnie…" Raphael murmured, rolling onto his back and turning his head towards his brother. "It's not going to be the same, Leo…"

"It hasn't been the past few days either, Raph; we… We gotta get over this."

"Get over it?" the red-ninja inquired sternly, getting onto his feet. "Get over it my eye, Leo! Donnie's gone and he's not coming back, and all you can say is to get over it!?"

Leonardo stepped back in alarm, not expecting his brother to snap at him. Quickly he held up his hands in defence.

"Okay, okay! So maybe I had a bad choice of words, but are you coming on patrol or not?" he repeated. Raphael turned away from him and sat back on his bed.

"Not… Mikey's your best company now…"

The elder turtle relaxed a little with a heavy sigh and turned to leave. Gripping onto the doorframe, he hesitantly turned back to his younger brother.

"I know you miss him, Raph, but… admittantly, bad things do happen…"

Raphael ignored him, but he did hear him leave. Bad things did happen, and death was the worst that could happen!

"But… why'd it happen to Donnie?" the red-ninja asked softly, putting his head in his hands. He'd tried his best to get Donatello through his sickness, being there for him every step of the way, but now his brother was gone… and it felt like his fault…

"_Raph… Raphael…_"

The turtle looked up in alarm at his name, noticing it didn't sound like Michelangelo or Leonardo. Looking around the room, he saw nothing at first, but doing a double-take, the red-ninja's eyes widened in fright at the figure standing in the corner of the room before him.

"D… D-Donnie!?"

* * *

**… Ta-daa! ^^  
Raphie's seeing angels! :3  
Or ghosts/spirits… whichever tickles your fancy…  
Yeah… idk… **

**So tell me what you think of this one, guys…  
If your review is something along the lines of "MORE, MORE, MORE!" or "OMG, it's Donnie!" or "WTF…"… well, no, I meant "What does Raph do now!? Plz continue!" I WILL!**

**Now that I have finished this one-shot, I have plans to make it longer, but I need the reviews first, guys ;)  
Happy reading! ^^**


	2. Seeing is believing

**Heheh, thnx for the reviews, guys! ^^  
CONTINUE I SHALL!  
Enjoy :)**

**BTWs, brotherly-bonding in this chappie between Leo and Raph… Stuff just seemed right to put it there…**

* * *

Raphael paused and rubbed his eyes… Then removed his mask and rubbed his eyes again just to be sure. He couldn't believe it; Donatello was standing right there in front of him!

"H-How?"

"_I need… your help…_" the purple-ninja whispered softly, cowering a little in his wispy-form. "_P-P-Pain…_"

The red-ninja hesitated to run over. Even in death, it seemed the sickle-cell still attacked…

"But… I can't… Y-You're not here, Don; you're…" Raphael cut off, not wanting to say the final words to his brother. Donatello only looked up at him with a half-blank smile; pain from his illness still clear in his eyes.

"_To see is to believe, Raph… Do I look that way to you?_" he inquired. Raphael blinked and shook his head, closing his eyes as he did so. He didn't even notice it when small tears started to run down his cheeks.

"I… I-I'm sorry, Donnie; I-I should've been a b-better help to y-you…" he stammered, looking down at his hands; starting to shake a little. "I-I feel… s-s-so b-bad right now…"

"_Raph…_" Donatello said softly as he walked over; his footsteps silent on the concrete floor. "_My illness caused this, not you… Without you, I couldn't have made it through that battle anyway._"

The red-ninja cursed softly under his breath. He knew his younger brother was telling the truth, yet he wasn't sure whether to agree with him or not. Putting his head in his hands, Raphael decided not to talk to Donatello; hoping the purple-ninja's ghost would soon disappear from boredom.

"_Ignoring me won't help, Raph. If you keep blaming yourself, I'll haunt your memories…_" Donatello put in. "_If you blame sickle-cell, I'll eventually leave you alone…_"

"But I don't want you to leave me alone!" Raphael snapped, looking up at his brother through teary eyes. "W-We're going to fall apart without you, Don; we n-need you b-back…"

Donatello watched in pity as his older brother collapsed onto the bed and buried his head into the pillow; the purple-ninja looking at the ground shamefully.

"_… Tell Mikey and Leo I said hi…_" he whispered before disappearing into thin air. When silence fell in the room, Raphael quickly bolted up into a sitting position and looked around.

"Donnie? Donnie!?" he cried, getting onto his feet. "Bro, come back, please! D-Don't leave… again…"

With a sharp whimper of hate, he sat back on the bed and looked at the ground; a sai-blade lying by his feet. In no hesitation, Raphael hastily grabbed the blade and brought it down against his wrist with an angered growl…

* * *

Leonardo and Michelangelo had hastily begun their venture back home, reaching the safety of the sewers just as the moon reached its highest point in the sky. They walked back along the tunnels in silence; Leonardo reflecting on what they had seen that night, Michelangelo occupied in searching for dangers of the underground. The orange-ninja shot a silent glance at his brother, noticing the leader didn't return the glance – Mikey guessed he was lost in thoughts again, but he decided to break the silence anyway…

"So… pretty boring night out tonight, don't ya think, Leo?" he questioned. Leonardo let his gaze wander over him before looking back at the tunnel ahead.

"Yeah…"

Michelangelo was a little disappointed at his answer, so he asked something else.

"I wonder what Raph got up to… You got any idea?"

"No idea…" the blue-ninja replied in the same flat tone as before. The orange-ninja whimpered softly. Maybe his older brother was just a little troubled from the fight he'd gotten into with a small group of Foot Ninja. He'd ended up with a missing katana, a twisted ankle and badly-bruised shoulder; Leonardo not really taking notice to them. Whatever it was, Michelangelo sensed he was really disappointed about it…

"Could it be about D-…?"

Not even finishing his sentence, a startled shriek cut the orange-ninja off; Leonardo immediately becoming alert to the noise.

"Leo, what was that?" Michelangelo questioned nervously. Leonardo remained quiet as the shriek came again, followed by a loud broken sob and someone cursing under their breath.

"Raphael…" he murmured softly, taking off at a sprint towards the lair; stopping to cringe at the pain in his ankle. Michelangelo hastily ran over to support him.

"I got ya, bro…" he insisted. "Let's go."

At once, the two turtles headed off again at a steady jog, reaching the lair before they knew it. Jogging up to the bedrooms, Michelangelo noticed Splinter was standing outside Raphael's door; their sensei with his head against the door and a concerned expression across his face.

"S-Sensei, what's wrong?" Leonardo inquired; wincing at another shriek… that sounded like it was coming from the other side of the door. "W-What is Raph d-doing in there!?"

Splinter sighed before turning to face the turtles; the rat resting his paws on his cane.

"Raphael started it twenty minutes after you two left, my sons. I fear something has triggered a memory in his mind…" he explained; his ears slightly drooping at the sound of his son's sobs. "… He kept calling for you, Leonardo…"

The blue-ninja nodded, finding the pain in his ankle had eased a little, and bravely pushed open the door; shutting it behind him before turning back with a slight shudder. Raphael sat on his bed with his head in his hands; his sai beside him and his wrists streaked with blood. Leonardo winced and wandered over, sitting beside his younger brother and allowing him to greet him with a hug.

"What have you done to yourself, Raph?" he questioned softly, affectionately rubbing his brother's shell. Raphael only peeked over the leader's shoulder at his still-bleeding wrists before burying his head into his shoulder.

"B-B-Blame… me…" he shakily replied. Leonardo was a little confused at his words, but didn't dare question them.

"Tell me what happened…"

"_I-I'm what happened, Leo…_"

Pulling away from Raphael, Leonardo looked up with a slight frown.

"Did you hear something, Raph?" he asked, but Raphael was too upset to speak.

**Go away, Donnie… **he thought to himself. **Y-You weren't supposed to come back…**

* * *

**Poor Raphie :(  
Seems he's the only one who can see Donnie, BUT at least he has Big Brother Leo to comfort him ^^  
I just love brother-bonds!**

**And… I hurt Leo too… Man, something's definitely wrong with me… *le-shrug* Oh well…  
Next chappie up soon-ish!**


	3. Don't ever forget

The rest of the evening felt like a nightmare to Raphael; even after being comforted by his older brother. Donatello had left again when he didn't say anything, and Leonardo was still wondering if he was hearing things, but simply shrugged it off after they'd eaten something. Another evening of Space Heroes would get his mind off it – in the end, Raphael gave in and watched it too; Michelangelo soon joining them so he wasn't alone. Already the red and orange ninjas had fallen asleep against their older brother; Leonardo himself yawning every now and then. Splinter watched the three turtles from the kitchen doorframe, exhaling softly with a small smile.  
Without Donatello, the brothers had grown more affectionate to one another, and it seemed they were more concerned when they were hurt or sick.  
**It will take my sons a while to forget Donatello… **the rat thought, watching as Leonardo eventually dozed off between his brothers. **For now, they must cherish every recent memory they've experienced with him.**

Hesitating whether or not to move the turtles to their bedrooms, Splinter paced the lounge quietly for a while; listening to the sounds of Space Heroes still playing in the background… that was until he heard something topple over in the kitchen and a soft crash on the floor. Startled, he looked over at his sons, but the three stayed asleep. Sighing in relief, Splinter wandered into the kitchen and let his eyes wander the room.  
His eyes widened when he saw the wispy-silhouette of his third-eldest son sitting on the bench-top; Donatello resting his head in the palms of his hands.

"Donatello?"

The purple-ninja looked up with a bleak smile; clear tears staining his cheeks.

" _H-Hi Sensei…_" he said softly as the rat walked over to him. "_… Raph hates me, doesn't he…?_"

"Now, my son, Raphael would never hate because of an event such as this," Splinter explained. "Hate itself is a strong word to use in this situation. It's more like he has a different opinion to you."

"_I… I'm just a little scared, Sensei,_" Donatello went on, hopping off the bench and walking in the direction of the lounge to watch his brothers. "_Now that I… I-I'm like this, well… What will they do?_"

Splinter folded his arms and looked down, thinking about the purple-ninja's words. It had been a week, yet still the turtles hadn't found to cooperate without their brother. It'd be a little while before they learnt to work together again…

"That I am still uncertain of, Donatello. I think you should possibly check back with us later."

Donatello slowly nodded and turned back to face his sensei; the tears still clear across his pale cheeks.

"_You… w-won't forget about me, w-will you?_" he whispered.

"Never, my son," Splinter replied, looking away once the purple-ninja had gone. "I will see you again soon…"

With that he cautiously headed back into the lounge and looked down over Raphael, Leonardo and Michelangelo; hesitating a little before he lifted the red-ninja into his arms. Raphael stirred slightly but thankfully stayed asleep; Splinter then carrying him to his room and settling him down on his bed.

"Goodnight… my son…" the rat murmured softly, pulling the covers over the young turtle before leaving the room. "Tomorrow, I promise… things will be better…"

After he'd left to do the same to Leonardo and Michelangelo, Raphael opened his eyes and rolled onto his plastron, then staring at the wall with a slight smile. He was grateful their sensei was fatherly enough to do something like that for them, but he felt a little uncomfortable to admit the gratitude. His only thoughts now were on the brother he'd lost to a horrible illness…

"Tomorrow will be better…" he whispered, repeating Splinter's words as he closed his eyes once more. "… Much better…"

* * *

**Idk if that was long enough but meh… *le-shrug*  
I just love putting random visits from Donnie's ghost in here; it's fun ^^**

**And I made Splinter be more fatherly again; yay! :3  
Yeah, in my opinion he's much taller than he is in the 2012 series, just so he can do that to the turtles… It's adorable! X3**

**And apparently, Space Heroes is now awesome B|**


	4. Sickle-cell strikes again!

**... Meh… Sickle-cell is now apparently catching, but Donnie has to 'pass on the germs' (ew XD) in a particular way… Don't look at me funny; I'm now making it a catching sickness!**

**Look out, turtles…**

* * *

_"You wondering again, Donnie?"_

_"Huh? Oh no, not really… My invention's not working on me again…"_

_"Let me help this time, please bro? Leo always gets to help!"_

_"Maybe Mikey; maybe. I don't even know if this'll work…"_

_I watched them from the doorway to Donnie's lab. They're all so interested in what he's building; I kinda feel jealous for missing out… But, they're having fun, so I won't go pester them…_

_"Ow…"_

_"You okay, Donnie? I'm sorry…"_

_"No, no; it's okay, Leo… You didn't do anything. I just-… Ow!"_

_Then I just so happen to look over at almost the wrong time… It's happening all over again, so I started to run over to my brothers…_

_"Donnie!"_

* * *

"Donnie!" Raphael cried, sitting up in fright. His heart beat hard in his chest as he looked around, soon calming himself down when he realised it wasn't real. "… I really gotta stop thinking about what happened…How long have I been asleep for?"

Getting up and peering out of the bedroom, the red-ninja glanced up the hallway to his left, noticing the eerie silence. Then he glanced to the right; that being quiet too.

"No one's up…" he whispered to himself. "Must still be pretty early… or late in that case…"

With that thought in mind, Raphael decided to return to bed; lying down and closing his eyes as soon as he hit the mattress. It took a little more time for him to fall asleep this time; his chest had a slight itch and it was becoming uncomfortable to sleep with. Groaning softly as he rolled onto his side, the red-ninja yelped softly; shaking free his sai when he found they were still in his belt from earlier.

"Gotta remind myself about that…" he muttered, discarding his ninja gear in the end and rolling over again to face the wall. The words he'd spoken earlier were wrong when Leonardo slipped past his brother's bedroom; the blue-ninja stopping himself when he heard Raphael mutter under his breath. Curiously the leader peered into his room, spying his younger brother's sleeping figure and shaking his head softly before backing out of the room and heading back to his own bedroom. Soon after he'd left, Donatello appeared again and slipped into Raphael's room: unnoticed to anyone and invisible.

"_I'm wondering…_" he asked himself; cautiously walking up to his older brother. "_… if I'm dead, can I still wake him?_"

Curiously the purple-masked turtle reached out his hand to shake Raphael's shoulder, but he whimpered in dismay when it went right through.

"_Darn…_"

Raphael had felt something though. Stirring a little, he exhaled heavily before rolling onto his shell; Donatello looking a little surprised.

"_So, he can feel my movements when I pass through him… That's freaky,_" the purple-masked turtle told himself with a soft laugh, trying to wake his brother once more. Raphael only whimpered in his sleep with a soft groan, moving his head a little but remaining asleep.

"_Heheh, this is kinda fun,_" Donatello admitted, suddenly restraining himself from doing it once more. "_But, maybe I should stop… That sounded like it hurt a little…_"

With his eyes directed on the light coming in through the door, Donatello noticed it shone right on the red-masked turtle. Could that be also why he was stirring?

"_Well… It is shining right on him…_" the purple-masked turtle concluded, retreating back over to the door. Before he could even leave, a soft voice called him back.

"D-Donnie…"

Donatello looked back at Raphael. He was asleep but continuously calling the purple-masked turtle's name softly; Donatello guessing he was maybe having a dream.

"_Sleep tight, Raph…_" he said with a smile; then side-stepping away from the bed, but suddenly drawing back when he noticed Raphael's slightly-off skin tone.

"_No… No! I-It can't be!_" he squeaked softly, gently taking his brother's hand; his eyes widening at how pale he had become from trying to wake him. "_The… T-The sickle-cell's catching! No!_"

The purple-ninja stumbled back from his brother, landing on the ground in fright. There he caught a glimpse of a lengthy cut across his fingers; the blood stained red against his white-pale skin.

"_… Passing it on through DNA?_" he asked himself, getting back onto his feet while still examining his hand. "_H-How is that possible when I'm… dead?_"

Frantically Donatello disappeared into wisps of light-smoke, not wanting to cause any more trouble. Raphael remained asleep when he left; the red-masked turtle uncomfortably putting his arms around his middle. If Donatello were right, he may have just become a carrier for passing on the deathly sickle-cell!

* * *

**All I can do is… *le-shrug*  
But I love my plan ^^**

**No guys, Raph's not gonna die from sickle-cell too. Leo and Mikey are gonna make sure that he doesn't – well, Raph may just feel a little more drowsy and such than before… And there will be a day where, you know, those miracle things happen and people be like, "Dude, you okay!" after they've been immobile in bed for like three weeks and then they suddenly get up and walk around…**

**Anyways, Donnie's ghost isn't going to stick around his brothers for the next few chappies now that he knows what's going on…  
How's Raph gonna cope at that… and how's he gonna cope once he finds out he's got sickle-cell too!?**


	5. Why me?

**So, Raph's feeling… not really himself the next morning, but Leo does notice he's not looking as 'green' as he did the day before… X3**

**Is it from Donnie passing on the sickle-cell?  
Or is Raph just acting like the purple-masked turtle when he found out he had the illness?**

**I'll stop talking now; and asking rhetorical questions to myself so you can read on!**

* * *

Michelangelo was on wake-up rounds that morning. Without thinking, he giddily ran over to Donatello's room and hastily pushed open the door; a wide grin on his face as he squinted his eyes shut and squeaked softly.

"Donnie, time for training; wake up!" he called happily, before coming to his senses and realising something wasn't right. "Oh; yeah… Donnie's-… I forgot…"

Miserably he turned away from Donatello's room, shut the door behind him and ventured on to Leonardo's room. The blue-masked turtle was already awake; sitting on his bed and boredly examining the Space Heroes posters on his walls.

"Leo; training time," Michelangelo called, trying to sound happy.

"… Be out in a sec…" Leonardo muttered, not looking back at his brother. He heard the orange-masked turtle leave and sighed softly, looking down at the pale-lavender teddy-bear that sat beside him; out of sight to anyone that walked in the room. The bear had belonged to Donatello, and Leonardo knew he'd never forgive himself if they got rid of something so special to his younger sibling, so he kept it secretly, without the others knowing.

"If only time was reversible…" he spoke aloud, getting up and slipping on his belt. "Then… none of this would have happened…"

"Leo; Leo! Something's wrong with Raph!"

At Michelangelo's cry, the blue-masked turtle bolted out of his bedroom in concern, running down the hallway to his younger brother's room. He skidded a little coming to the doorway, but easily steadied himself before anyone saw it.

"Mikey, what is it!?" Leonardo inquired in concern. Michelangelo worryingly pointed to Raphael; the red-masked turtle cowering on the floor with his arms wrapped around his knees, rocking slightly with sharp whimpers of pain. Leonardo knelt beside Raphael; his ocean-blue eyes glistened with concern.

"Raph… It's okay, little brother; relax…" he whispered softly, going to reassure his brother, but Raphael hastily shuffled away from him; his eyes wide and anxious.

"D-Donnie; gone… Team; f-fall apart… Family; b-b-broken…" the red-masked turtle stammered, continuing to rock back and forth. Leonardo glanced up at Michelangelo in concern, then getting to his feet and shrugging slightly.

"Either he's delusional, or just having an anxiety attack…" the blue-masked turtle pointing out as a matter-of-factly; going to leave the room.

"But Leo… Raph doesn't have anxiety…"

Leonardo stopped and looked back at his two brothers. Because of how worried and anxious Raphael had become, the red-masked turtle looked a little paler than his usual dark-green colouring. The blue-masked turtle could also see that he hadn't gotten any sleep; probably not for the past week…  
Sighing he walked over again and poked his younger brother in the forehead; Raphael almost instantly calming down.

"W-What?" he asked softly.

"You're freaking out, Raph… You gotta calm down, or… you may end up like Donnie…" the blue-masked turtle insisted, speaking the truth. Raphael sat back and looked down at his hands, shivering a little when he noticed how pale he was.

"He… H-He visited me last night…" he whispered.

"Who did?"

"D-Donnie…" Raphael went on. "I… I-I could tell he was there… even i-if I was a-asleep…"

Michelangelo sharply whimpered and gave his older brother a tight hug.

"D-Don't tell me you got it too!" he cried; Raphael struggling to untangle himself.

"He's got it…" Leonardo pointed out, noting the paleness of their brother's skin. "Question is, how did Donnie pass on the sickle-cell, Raph?"

"I… I-I have no idea…"

* * *

**Uh oh's… Turtles don't know how Raph got sickle-cell… but Raph knows; he's just afraid to tell :(**

**He doesn't want to blame Donnie for it; they were tight back in the day!  
… But he may have to in order to clear all this up…**

**BTWs, updates for this may be a little slow cause of school and stuff, but I will eventually get it all updated!**


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